Things for Sale That I Will Mail You

This will probably work a lot better from David Horvitz’s original site

THINGS FOR SALE THAT I WILL MAIL YOU:

If you give me $1,626 I will go to the small Okinawan island called Iriomote and send you an envelope filled with star-sand (don’t worry, I’ve been there before, I know where to go). I will send it from there.

If you give me $1,335 I will go as far south as I can go in South America and take a photograph of the ocean for you. This will probably be in Tierra del Fuego. I will send you the photograph from there.

If you give me $917 I will go to where Matt Elliott told me to go in an e-mail: Newfoundland, Canada. He told me I should try to go there because it is the furthest east and that I would love it there. I trust him. I will go there and I will go as far east as possible. You can tell me what you want me to take a photograph of. I will mail it to you from there.

If you give me $3,143 I will for as far away as possible. I live in New York. I will go to Perth, Australia the farthest distance from New York on Earth. I will mail you a photograph of me standing in New York. I will then mail you a photograph of me standing in Perth. I’m a little sad right now and I would kind of like to escape, so if you are thinking about getting one of these and not sure what you want, please take in consideration my emotions and pick this one.

If you give me $4,444 I will go to the Island of St Helena. I will take a photograph of the sky and mail it to you from there. Nothing else.

If you give me $105 I will get 100 one-dollar bills, sign each one as an art-work, and give them away to 99 different people in one day. I don’t want to document this. All I will do is send you an email saying: “I did it today.” And I’ll mail you one of the dollar art-works with my signature.

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If you give me $3 I will send you an empty envelope.

If you give me $2,443 I will rent a car in Iceland and try to drive around the whole country. I will send you photos documenting this and a map of where I made it to. I will send this from there.

If you give me $30 I will walk around New York, and the first homeless person I see I will buy him or her whatever he or she wants to eat (as long as it is less than $30). I will mail you back the exact change (minus the paypal fee and the cost of the postage stamp) with the receipt for the food and the name of the person who ate it.

If you give me $1,412 I will go to Japan, go to a mountain, find a buddhist monk, and share a cup of tea with him or her. I will mail you something from the temple. I don’t know what it is yet, I have to find it there.

If you give me $1 I will sit in silence and think about you for one minute. I will send you an email when I start this, and I’ll send you another email when I’m done.

  • I thought about Moisés Horta from 4:22am to 4:23am on February 14, 2008 in New York.

If you give me $400 I will take a train to a desolate area with a packed lunch and sit down and read Anna Karenina. I will do this for 6-10 hours. I will repeat the same thing the following days until I have finally read the entire book. Finally! I am only going to do this once, so this is an edition of one only. I will send you documentation of this from the closest mailbox to where I do this. I’ll also write the location of the mailbox on the envelope if you ever wish to go to where I will have sent it to you from.

If you give me $630 I will give it to my landlord for the month’s rent. I won’t work for one month and I’ll send you an email everyday of what I did (unless I am away from a computer). Actually, I am going to need some more money for food and utilities. I am going to raise this to $1000.

This one is really serious. I’m scared to do this. But I think I have to. If you give me $10 I will think really hard of someone who I need to apologize to. I will write them a letter of apology. I will make two copies of the letter. I will send one to you and one to the person who I am apologizing to.

  • Hana Hutchings owns an apology letter to Laura Pearson
  • Hyunhye Seo owns an apology letter to Uta Barth

If you give me $1,999 I will take a ferry from Spain to Morocco. I will mail you a photograph of the port in Spain looking out at sea from a Spanish mailbox. I will then mail you a photograph of the port in Morocco looking out at sea from a Moroccan mailbox. You can glue the backs together when you get both of them and it will be like a three dimensional view.

If you give me $5 i will write down a secret and mail it to you. NOTE: I am not one to keep secrets. If you buy this, you may receive something that is really serious and may be upsetting, so please keep that in mind.

  • Nick Ripley owns a secret of mine.

If you give me any amount of money I will cash it, put it in my pocket, grab my camera, and walk out my front door not knowing what I will do. I will then travel somewhere for as cheap as possible. I will keep just enough money so that I can get back. I will send you all the receipts and documentation of this. This is for any amount. If you give me $1 maybe I will walk out my door and buy a chocolate bar and then come home. If you give me $123 maybe I will get on a greyhound bus headed for who knows where. I will go somewhere.

If you give me $300 I will fly to Los Angeles and hang out with Center Fold for 20 days while Luke and Sarah are travelling the world. I will send you a photograph of her majesty for each day I spend with her. I’ll send them in seperate envelopes at the end of each day. This is for the middle of April, and it is an edition of one only. So buy it now before someone else does!

If you give me $2,500 I will hire a skywriting jet in Los Angeles in the summer on a sunday to write “I’m Bored” in the sky. I will make a video of it and send you a DVD.

More will come, some will go, some will change, some I will stop selling once someone buys it.

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